It's done...

Okay, so it's done..the court is over...is it fair?...NO!
Please excuse this blog, as I am going to vent...PLEASE don't bother responding...I just want to say some feelings and then let it go...

Basicly Zac and Crystal came to an agreement. She would pay us $109.00 a month and give up the right to put Alexander on her taxes for 4 years or is it 3? I don't know the details as I am not allowed to be in the room and you just have to work out the deal with a court ordered "person". If you can't agree then you end up going into court with the judge. Zac feels good about the deal, and so I have to trust his judgement.
I really am trying to find peace in this, I just feel like their is no equality. She chooses to have a part-time job, and make as little as possible. She chooses to spend less time with Alexander (personally we are happy about this) yet, the Judge allowes her more time. When we should be allowed $340.00 a month we get less than half! Do we want the money? No, I want the money so that when she can't pay it we can hold it over her head and get some leavage. Is that wrong? One day I want to move, and I want to live somewhere else...but if we don't have leavage that won't happen. According to court she spends a total of 43 days with Alexander per a year. 43 days!!! I'm away from Alexander for a day and I miss the little one.
I want to scream...IT'S NOT FAIR...and then I hear my mother's voice in my head that says, "well, life isn't fair". Yes, yes...I know...Alexander will always be worth it. I just want to feel like I get justice for the price I (we) pay.